October 9, 2014

She was born in December but she lives like June
Excitement, energy, and warmth in her smile
She is the freedom of long summer days
Those who have her never appreciate her, and notice mournfully when she's gone
Wishing they she would tumble back into their lives like a hot evening wind
To warm them from the bitter cold that her absence has left
She is restless and refreshing like waves upon the sand
She is the dive of a falcon, piercing through sky
She is the dancing rays of sunshine, giving new things life
She is movement in its purest form,all the forces of nature in one body
She deserves only those who will keep up with her,
Matching each movement in harmony
Anything less will slow her down
For she is the racing of every heart
The breath of a stallion in full gallop
She is the shimmer of light breaking through the leaves
She is
And will never cease to be

April 2014

I have always dreamed of being the cause of romantic contention
perhaps a fight to the death for my hand
capturing princes’ hearts like a siren
embarking on daring adventures
being the Hero

In my fantasies I am venturing the woods and feel at home in a castle
there are swords and bows, and I am an expert of both.
I am taught the ways of magic by my grizzled and experienced master
I embark on a quest to defeat evil
and the excitement never ceases

I want what is portrayed in the stories sometimes so bad
that my heart is ready to burst with longing for something
I can never acquire

Yet I have come to realize that I possess more of an adventure story than most
and through the hundreds of fantasy novels that I have devoured in my life
none ever dwell on this stage of my story
that all protagonists must go through:

Training.

Though I do not dwell in woods
I frolic through forests of words
the trees are in the form of books
I wield the sword of logic and am armed with the quiver of Natural Law
I am protected by the armor of God
virtue is my shield

My enemies have not been in the form of tyrants
of wicked kings or mages
but in the form of self-doubt
of procrastination,
law briefs
of Resistance
and I am learning that one must conquer the evils inside themselves
before they can attempt to change the depravity of the world

Though there hasn’t been any romance
I am aware of the brave princes in my midst
of the rebels and fighters and nomads
of the elegant princesses
all learning and preparing
as I am
to achieve their divine destinies

I have been mothered by an angel
and instructed by wise warriors
grizzled with experience but possessing gentle hearts
they are masters of their arts
not of magic, but of the laws of God and of man
Instead of crafting potions
they conjure with the sorcery of words
They have stretched me in so many ways and have expected so much of me
that I cannot truthfully say that my life has never been in peril

I have been trained and taught as any hero has.

I am recognizing the role I play in the battles to come
and I am coming to accept my responsibility to the future
I am enjoying creating my legend
though I still have much to learn

While ending this chapter of my tale and turning the page
to whatever lies ahead
I may declare this fervently:
It has been quite an adventure.
I look forward to the next.

April 20, 2014

It sucks you in, you're going to drown
But there's no other option--you must go down
It's a flick of the switch, if you fly you must fall
You don't understand what's happening at all
Lies in your ears "you want to feel this way"
And though you want help, you won't hear what they say
To change is an effort you don't want to make
So you go about life but you only feel fake
They think that you're happy; there's no one to trust
Still you can't be alone, to have friends is a must
No matter the reason, it still feels the same
Always bittersweet; it's almost a game
You don't understand how you should feel
It seems like it all is a test of your skill
One day you're happy, the next day you're sad
First knowing exactly, then you can't understand
No motivation, there's nothing to do
Nothing has worth
Not even you
Though in the back of your mind you know it's a lie
That God wouldnt leave you alone to die
So you pray and you pray
And you struggle and scrape
For any part of your life to take brighter shape
It can take a long time, but slowly a gleam
Starts creeping in--you're not alone as you seem
There is no switch, no magical spell
You barely even notice, suddenly all is well
You still have to heal, to forgive and dream
All along God was there, you can be redeemed
It sucks you in, but Christ pulls you out
For He's the only one who knows all your doubt
Only He can understand every ounce of pain
Only He willingly takes it again and again
Only through Christ can suffering be gone
When you and peace can finally be one
If you would only have faith and give your sorrow to Him
HE's always been knocking
YOU let Him in

April 6, 2014

Today is a strange day.
It's as if nothing and everything is smooshed into one day.
Today is an inbetween day.
It's dim in the house. Not light, not dark.
Today feels like it had too much to eat.
Today is a held breath;
A moment to lounge in the staleness of the day.
Today wants to change and stay the same.
Today is taking ages to dash by.
Today is feels like tepid bathwater.
Today is a nothing day.
It needs to change.
Perhaps then it will be a something day.