As the sun sets, I lie here awake
The purple mist rolls in
filling my lungs with acrid breaths of your name
fogging my head with visions
and infecting my lifeblood
for after months of living clean
once again I am held captive
and your eyes haunt my psyche
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Burn
I hope the longing for what once was
burns through your nights
and echos endlessly in your days
like it does mine
November 25, 2015
Waiting for you is like picking petals from a flower
I love you, I love you not
though whichever petal I end on
The blossom is still dead
I love you, I love you not
though whichever petal I end on
The blossom is still dead
Sunday, November 15, 2015
November 15, 2015
Oh, I wonder
Did I spur your heart to song
like you filled my soul with words?
And if I did,
have the harmonies ceased?
Did I spur your heart to song
like you filled my soul with words?
And if I did,
have the harmonies ceased?
Thursday, November 12, 2015
The Stairs of Life
November 6, 2015.
Beijing, China
He looked up at the mountain, looming large and high,
Took a breath of determination, and ascended the Stairs of Life
Legs pumping, heart beating, he focused on the steps
Moving fast and planning on what he would do next
There were others on the Stairs, but he didn't learn their names
He preferred solitude for speed, he couldn't afford to play games
He reached the top triumphantly and finally looked around
The views were truly spectacular, but views were all he found
"I made it here the fastest," he recognized with pride,
But he sat and waited lonely, with no one by his side
After what seemed like ages, others came along
Laughing and singing together, he sat and viewed the throng
They had scars and bumps and bruises, but joy was in their eyes
And what they started telling him took him by surprise
They told tales of peaks and canyons, of rivers, rocks, and trees
Of the respite they found sitting in the pleasurable mountain breeze
The things that they were saying, he didn't understand
How did they climb the Stairs while they saw all this new land?
They had left the Stairs and safety, the hillside to explore
They had never imagined what the mountain had in store
They found unlikely friends and family they never thought they would
They developed skills and talents they never knew they could
While they did fall injured, they learned who truly cared
For they found what really mattered when they were lost and scared
Though they weren't the fastest hikers, more happiness was theirs
For you miss all the adventure if you focus on the stairs.
Beijing, China
He looked up at the mountain, looming large and high,
Took a breath of determination, and ascended the Stairs of Life
Legs pumping, heart beating, he focused on the steps
Moving fast and planning on what he would do next
There were others on the Stairs, but he didn't learn their names
He preferred solitude for speed, he couldn't afford to play games
He reached the top triumphantly and finally looked around
The views were truly spectacular, but views were all he found
"I made it here the fastest," he recognized with pride,
But he sat and waited lonely, with no one by his side
After what seemed like ages, others came along
Laughing and singing together, he sat and viewed the throng
They had scars and bumps and bruises, but joy was in their eyes
And what they started telling him took him by surprise
They told tales of peaks and canyons, of rivers, rocks, and trees
Of the respite they found sitting in the pleasurable mountain breeze
The things that they were saying, he didn't understand
How did they climb the Stairs while they saw all this new land?
They had left the Stairs and safety, the hillside to explore
They had never imagined what the mountain had in store
They found unlikely friends and family they never thought they would
They developed skills and talents they never knew they could
While they did fall injured, they learned who truly cared
For they found what really mattered when they were lost and scared
Though they weren't the fastest hikers, more happiness was theirs
For you miss all the adventure if you focus on the stairs.
Whimsy
From pennies and pies and pigeons
to teacups and timing and tents
sometimes alliteration is alluring
but most times it doesn't make sense
to teacups and timing and tents
sometimes alliteration is alluring
but most times it doesn't make sense
Monday, November 9, 2015
November 9, 2015
If I could create my visions such beauty would there be
For my mind frequents places the human mind can't see
These mortal fingers fail me to animate all I feel
And though I can't explain it doesn't mean that it's not real
For my mind frequents places the human mind can't see
These mortal fingers fail me to animate all I feel
And though I can't explain it doesn't mean that it's not real
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
November 4, 2015
The problem is,
everyone cares too much about what others think,
and not enough about how others feel.
everyone cares too much about what others think,
and not enough about how others feel.
Monday, October 12, 2015
October 12, 2015
I was young and naive
caught in the raptures of first love
willing to do anything for you
now I am grown and mature
the raptures have long since floated away
and I am still willing to do anything for you
caught in the raptures of first love
willing to do anything for you
now I am grown and mature
the raptures have long since floated away
and I am still willing to do anything for you
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Uncertainty
October 11, 2015
"Life is difficult and confusing enough,"
she said, "without us adding to the muddle.
I think love should be straightforward and enjoyable,"
She grinned.
"..With enough uncertainty to add some fun."
"Life is difficult and confusing enough,"
she said, "without us adding to the muddle.
I think love should be straightforward and enjoyable,"
She grinned.
"..With enough uncertainty to add some fun."
Heartache
October 12, 2015
Pain shoots through my back. Again.
A backpacking incident a year ago.
I've hurt ever since.
I've grown used to the dull ache;
it's always in my subconscious, though too often
Some movement brings it to the forefront of my sensory receptors.
I'm used to it being constant, like an old friend.
And because of this, I know why they call it heartache.
A passionate incident four months ago.
I've hurt ever since.
I've grown used to the dull ache;
you're always there in my subconscious, though far too often
some word or song or smell or color brings you to the forefront of my mind
and there you stay for far too long.
Pain shoots through my heart. Again.
I'm used to it being constant
though I never want to call you a friend
I'd rather have the heartache.
Pain shoots through my back. Again.
A backpacking incident a year ago.
I've hurt ever since.
I've grown used to the dull ache;
it's always in my subconscious, though too often
Some movement brings it to the forefront of my sensory receptors.
I'm used to it being constant, like an old friend.
And because of this, I know why they call it heartache.
A passionate incident four months ago.
I've hurt ever since.
I've grown used to the dull ache;
you're always there in my subconscious, though far too often
some word or song or smell or color brings you to the forefront of my mind
and there you stay for far too long.
Pain shoots through my heart. Again.
I'm used to it being constant
though I never want to call you a friend
I'd rather have the heartache.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Deep Purple
October 10, 2015
You made me feel a myriad of colors
mostly yellows and blues
some nights you made me dark red
without you now I still feel colors
lately I live in deep purple
and I can't find my way out
You made me feel a myriad of colors
mostly yellows and blues
some nights you made me dark red
without you now I still feel colors
lately I live in deep purple
and I can't find my way out
Storm
October 10, 2015
You are the wind and I the waves
your touch blasts my swells into turmoil
and our storm is magnificent
You are the wind and I the waves
your touch blasts my swells into turmoil
and our storm is magnificent
Forest
October 10, 2015
See, our love was like a forest
haunting, enchanting,
and utterly disorienting
See, our love was like a forest
haunting, enchanting,
and utterly disorienting
October 10, 2015
I.
How lovely it would be to be broken, to let him heal me into something whole
how romantic to be lost for years, buried under insecurities
only blossoming under his loving touch
how lovely
how poetic
how unattainable
for I am not a fragile flower, shivering in darkness with bud sealed tight
waiting for my love to be the giver of light
I am a towering tree, branches bursting with new spring leaves
my roots are deep and branches high
still lovely
still poetic
II.
I search for strong roots to entangle with my own
so we may hold each other through the windstorms
growing upwards, upwards
into light
How lovely it would be to be broken, to let him heal me into something whole
how romantic to be lost for years, buried under insecurities
only blossoming under his loving touch
how lovely
how poetic
how unattainable
for I am not a fragile flower, shivering in darkness with bud sealed tight
waiting for my love to be the giver of light
I am a towering tree, branches bursting with new spring leaves
my roots are deep and branches high
still lovely
still poetic
II.
I search for strong roots to entangle with my own
so we may hold each other through the windstorms
growing upwards, upwards
into light
Maybe, Definitely
October 8, 2015
Maybe, in a few years we'll meet again
Definitely, you will still be older
Maybe, you'll know who you are then
Definitely, I'll have lived and grown wiser
Maybe, then we'll be right for each other
Definitely, I'll love you until then
Maybe, in a few years we'll meet again
Definitely, you will still be older
Maybe, you'll know who you are then
Definitely, I'll have lived and grown wiser
Maybe, then we'll be right for each other
Definitely, I'll love you until then
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
October 7, 2015
I don't know if you realize how special you are,
How lucky to be owner of my firsts
First kiss, first romance, first passion
You are the owner of my first love
I suppose you were too special, too lucky
For you were not content with all the firsts I gave you
You wanted to be first once more
So you became my first heartbreak
And I don't know if you realize how special you are,
How lucky to be owner of my firsts
And oh, how I wished you to be the owner of my lasts
How lucky to be owner of my firsts
First kiss, first romance, first passion
You are the owner of my first love
I suppose you were too special, too lucky
For you were not content with all the firsts I gave you
You wanted to be first once more
So you became my first heartbreak
And I don't know if you realize how special you are,
How lucky to be owner of my firsts
And oh, how I wished you to be the owner of my lasts
Saturday, August 8, 2015
August 8, 2015
I hold it all together and I tell you it's fine
Sometimes it's not fine
Sometimes it's time
for me to fall apart
to piece me back together
And start with a new heart
The sadness, it's there and it cuts like a knife
How ironic that the thing that hurts is how you choose your life
The life I helped you remember
The you you're figuring out
I'm always just the therapist, the one who's there to shout
to, to lean on, to bleed on
The one who's there to cling on
But when I cling back that's a different matter
I'm left with open wounds
I'm always left the sadder
Sometimes it's not fine
Sometimes it's time
for me to fall apart
to piece me back together
And start with a new heart
The sadness, it's there and it cuts like a knife
How ironic that the thing that hurts is how you choose your life
The life I helped you remember
The you you're figuring out
I'm always just the therapist, the one who's there to shout
to, to lean on, to bleed on
The one who's there to cling on
But when I cling back that's a different matter
I'm left with open wounds
I'm always left the sadder
Thursday, July 23, 2015
July 23, 2015
I am encompassed by dust and wind
In both elemental and human form
With such emptiness I have the days to dream
More often than not, my thoughts run wild with your voice
I don't attempt to keep it in check
In both elemental and human form
With such emptiness I have the days to dream
More often than not, my thoughts run wild with your voice
I don't attempt to keep it in check
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
July 1, 2015 (2)
The smell of my new perfume
Now that scent belongs to you
Belongs to glances and touches
Silent communication
To moments that are novels
Encased in my searching heart
To some it's just a perfume
To me its new beginnings
Tentative fingers connecting
The reflection of light in your brown eyes
Of wind blowing strong and loud
Not unlike the beating of our hearts
I think I'll wear this night for a while.
Now that scent belongs to you
Belongs to glances and touches
Silent communication
To moments that are novels
Encased in my searching heart
To some it's just a perfume
To me its new beginnings
Tentative fingers connecting
The reflection of light in your brown eyes
Of wind blowing strong and loud
Not unlike the beating of our hearts
I think I'll wear this night for a while.
July 1, 2015
Heartbeat like a thunderstorm
Lighting flashing in the rain
Every breath is a gust of wind
Pulse dancing like a flame
My stomach lives in chaos
Simple butterflies far removed
Sleep escapes my understanding
Why dream when there is you?
Lighting flashing in the rain
Every breath is a gust of wind
Pulse dancing like a flame
My stomach lives in chaos
Simple butterflies far removed
Sleep escapes my understanding
Why dream when there is you?
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