July 2, 2017
I left the memories you gave me on your front porch tonight
Stayed a while to sit with you and I
On that walkway of the first night's goodbye
How different was that time
I wish I missed you more
Driving away I can't say what I know
The moon tonight is yellow
And I let you go
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
June 2017 sometime
You're wordy when you're nervous
That's fine, because I clean up
And what will my mom think of hundreds of miles away?
Does it matter what my mom thinks if you're hundreds of miles away?
That's fine, because I clean up
And what will my mom think of hundreds of miles away?
Does it matter what my mom thinks if you're hundreds of miles away?
Messy thoughts
June 2017
Who are you and where did you come from
Why did you tumble into my world asking to be loved
Appeared in a highlight and I saw your soul
I think that I knew you before
I am you, just as me
Somehow
There's no expectations
Somehow
We gained everything
Somehow
You wake up in the dead of night
Ask me, did you feel that too?
I'll hold you til you give up the fight
Well I had the same dream as you
So I have many things and I'm
Low on my dreams
But your room has a mess same as mine
And you fascinate me
And you cause me to be
An impressor and a loser of time
And I envy your ways of thinking abstract
You make me not want to rhyme
Who are you and where did you come from
Why did you tumble into my world asking to be loved
Appeared in a highlight and I saw your soul
I think that I knew you before
I am you, just as me
Somehow
There's no expectations
Somehow
We gained everything
Somehow
You wake up in the dead of night
Ask me, did you feel that too?
I'll hold you til you give up the fight
Well I had the same dream as you
So I have many things and I'm
Low on my dreams
But your room has a mess same as mine
And you fascinate me
And you cause me to be
An impressor and a loser of time
And I envy your ways of thinking abstract
You make me not want to rhyme
August 2017
You've changed, I hope.
Not because you were bad before,
but because anyone who doesn't change is frightening.
Not because you were bad before,
but because anyone who doesn't change is frightening.
July 2017
Is it me is it just a dream
I used to tell now it's hard to see
Rocks in my room are telling me
Wake up
Take your luck
You're here now
But I sleep
All I do is sleep
What does it mean
Is it because of you?
Rainy nights and sunset dreams
The stain of love on everything
My bad habit of playing pretend is catching up to me
Like last summer when I roamed around
My name on all the lips in town
I lost my sanctuary
It wasn't me
I'm not distracting myself from pain
Cause when I don't I'm still okay
I think I know I'm on the edge of my great and it scares me
So I'm unconscious til 3 pm
I want to wake up but I cannot end
My sleeping dreams are all my day can be
Is it me is it just a dream
I used to tell now it's hard to see
Rocks in my room are telling me
Wake up
Take your luck
You're here now
But I sleep
All I do is sleep
What does it mean
Is it because of you?
Is it because of me?
Is it because of us?
I think I need some sleep
Wake up, little girl
Nap time's over
Your mother's here and it's time to go
Wake up, little girl
Nap time's over
Your mother's here and it's time to go
Wake up, little girl
Nap time's over
Your mother's here and it's time to go
I used to tell now it's hard to see
Rocks in my room are telling me
Wake up
Take your luck
You're here now
But I sleep
All I do is sleep
What does it mean
Is it because of you?
Rainy nights and sunset dreams
The stain of love on everything
My bad habit of playing pretend is catching up to me
Like last summer when I roamed around
My name on all the lips in town
I lost my sanctuary
It wasn't me
I'm not distracting myself from pain
Cause when I don't I'm still okay
I think I know I'm on the edge of my great and it scares me
So I'm unconscious til 3 pm
I want to wake up but I cannot end
My sleeping dreams are all my day can be
Is it me is it just a dream
I used to tell now it's hard to see
Rocks in my room are telling me
Wake up
Take your luck
You're here now
But I sleep
All I do is sleep
What does it mean
Is it because of you?
Is it because of me?
Is it because of us?
I think I need some sleep
Wake up, little girl
Nap time's over
Your mother's here and it's time to go
Wake up, little girl
Nap time's over
Your mother's here and it's time to go
Wake up, little girl
Nap time's over
Your mother's here and it's time to go
August 13, 2017
Mesmerized
I found a cloud to keep me company
since you told me you could not.
In the evening light reflected
he was vibrantly displayed
I watched him as I drove around,
the way I used to watch you;
drinking in all the changing features, mesmerized.
Taking out my camera, I tried to capture who he was
pink light spilling into the lavender sky
I stopped, walking to find a better view
turning in my panorama to catch the sun's sinking rays
When I turned back to my new friend, he had gone
disappeared into the lavender sky
much like you.
I took those pictures because I have deleted all of yours.
I found a cloud to keep me company
since you told me you could not.
In the evening light reflected
he was vibrantly displayed
I watched him as I drove around,
the way I used to watch you;
drinking in all the changing features, mesmerized.
Taking out my camera, I tried to capture who he was
pink light spilling into the lavender sky
I stopped, walking to find a better view
turning in my panorama to catch the sun's sinking rays
When I turned back to my new friend, he had gone
disappeared into the lavender sky
much like you.
I took those pictures because I have deleted all of yours.
Terrified.
On the before side -- May 2017
I am terrified.
Terrified that deep down, you are not
what is good for me.
Terrified. That you won't choose me.
That you won't choose us over you.
Terrified. Terrified that I will
ONLY WANT YOU
because I do.
But you won't want me enough.
Terrified that I want too much
and that is a cavern
that can never be filled.
By anyone.
Am I more than the others?
I thought that I am.
But I guess this is the part where you
Where you what?
Leave me feeling terrified
?
I am terrified.
Terrified that deep down, you are not
what is good for me.
Terrified. That you won't choose me.
That you won't choose us over you.
Terrified. Terrified that I will
ONLY WANT YOU
because I do.
But you won't want me enough.
Terrified that I want too much
and that is a cavern
that can never be filled.
By anyone.
Am I more than the others?
I thought that I am.
But I guess this is the part where you
Where you what?
Leave me feeling terrified
?
sometime in April 2017
How many nights will be like this?
Saying goodbye instead of goodnight.
But he stays with me as long as he can
patiently staying as I pull him back
yearning for him to stay.
and he does, until I fall asleep.
and he will, until we both sleep
and I'm trying to wait patiently
until every night is goodnight.
Saying goodbye instead of goodnight.
But he stays with me as long as he can
patiently staying as I pull him back
yearning for him to stay.
and he does, until I fall asleep.
and he will, until we both sleep
and I'm trying to wait patiently
until every night is goodnight.
Sometime in June 2017
A sonnet in iambic pentameter
He plays my heart in such a gentle way
With skillful fingers he plucks a new tune
Melodies lost before are coaxed and played
Sweet harmonies that represent the moon
Oh play, musician, with your sweet moon song
Provide your music, I will sing along
He plays my heart in such a gentle way
With skillful fingers he plucks a new tune
Melodies lost before are coaxed and played
Sweet harmonies that represent the moon
Oh play, musician, with your sweet moon song
Provide your music, I will sing along
Flesh
May 2017
Our hearts are so intertwined
that to pry them apart would rip open my flesh
until all of my love bleeds out into him
staining him with the color of me
and leaving my own chest empty
Our hearts are so intertwined
that to pry them apart would rip open my flesh
until all of my love bleeds out into him
staining him with the color of me
and leaving my own chest empty
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